Monday, February 22, 2010

Solas Christas

I went to bed with an awful feeling last night... and woke up with it again in the morning. I did not understand, I couldnt comprehend just.... WHY.

So I have been going through a bit of a struggle lately. It came out of nowhere, and without warning. This is what happens when your hold things in. My subconscious attacked me and the anxiety attack ensued. I thought God had left me, to test me. Was I not worshipping Him as I ought? Was I putting something before him? What have I done?
But one of my very good friends pointed Deuteronomy 31:8 to me...

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

its so simple. I feel the fool to not have seen it before, but I was so caught up in my unseen worries and I lost sight of the Truth. Sometimes just being stupid and human is enough to frustrate me. I know we do these things by nature but I hate it so much that it makes me physically ill. I found yet another quote:

"I do not seek to understand that I may believe, but I believe in order to understand. For this I believe-- that unless I believe, I should not understand."

I have learned that being Christian, you learn something new all the time. Whether it something God has driven into out hearts again... breaking it to know Him. Or having the physical evidence and the evidence in our hearts that He is with us. He will NEVER forsake us. This has filled me with SUCH joy. I just... dont know how else to express it. God has blessed me with the best people in my life... and I am just SO greatful for it.
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2 comments:

  1. jessicareneFebruary 25, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    Babygirl, I feel like most times god puts people through certain things he knows they're capable of dealing with. He must think that you are a strong person and are able to deal with a lot...and that's why you found yourself in that position. In the long run it only serves as a good thing for you to come out of them and make you even stronger.

    I'm terribly sorry you woke up that morning still in a funk. That happens to me sometimes too.... but! It will pass, if it hasn't already!

    Pampering helps too! Paint your nails girlfriend, or dye your hair!! (can you even do that on campus?)

    hahaha.
    I love you.

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  2. TaraMarch 25, 2010 at 8:32 AM

    Heather,

    God knows He is capable of dealing with everything. That is why He placed the friend in your life who pointed out Deut. 31. He goes before you. He knows how to guide you. That friend who pointed out Deut. is a wise friend to go to the right source for comfort- God's word. Any friend who directs you to His word is a friend indeed. You are not strong - God is. I am not strong- God is. He is our strength and portion forever. When we are weak he is strong. What freedom to know we do not have to depend on our goodness, our strength, our intelligence, our wisdom, our looks, or anything man can come up with (we are such fools). We have God's wisdom in His word, we have His strength in (and through) Jesus, and we have His comfort in the Holy Spirit. He is our All in All! We do not have to depend on ourselves or look to ourselves in times of troubles. We need not only to fix our eyes on Jesus the author and perfector of our faith.

    Love your sister in Christ,

    Tara Jacobson

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